I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
