Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize