Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
