Cold hands, warm shart.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
just found out that she named her cat after me.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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