It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Life is so much better after having sex.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Drake has all the answers
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
