he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
