Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize