3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
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