I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Randomize