i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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