The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
