none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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