I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
