1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
