and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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