I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
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