Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
