i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
