We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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