so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Randomize
