so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
