This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
