how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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