I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize