At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
