i just had sex bonerless
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
we're making bets on your personal life
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Randomize
