Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
