I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
love makes seman taste better
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
