before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
