How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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