This girl is more easily done than said...
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize