he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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