5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
