she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Randomize
