is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
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