I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
