I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
