Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
