South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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