sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
