Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize