Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
