I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
