Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
