My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
