HIV tests are more positive than that guy
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
