We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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