So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
