If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
