Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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