So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
