Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
