I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
