I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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