the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
it's great music for shaving your balls
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
