Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize